Home Alone

I am in isolation!

Woo Hoo Aunt Becky's

I am not sure exactly what's going on, but Marty and Lyle put me in the car at bedtime and we drove to Aunt Becky's. 

After they unpacked my stuff (I have a lot of stuff) and after Aunt Becky justifiably chastised them for not getting me enough exercise, they went to bed. Not for long though, they got up almost right away and left me!  Aunt Becky was still asleep.    (I checked.)

I'm stuck in the kitchen with all my worldly belongings and a kong.

Done With More Classes

Despite my ongoing protests about having to ride in the car, we went to school last night for the last class in this session.  This was what Marty calls "Double Potions" which just means I have to be there twice as long as I should.  This time we did "Tricks for Clicks" and then "Real Life Skills" which I already have, but Marty said we should practice.

I showed the other dogs that I can open the fridge door and hand Marty a Kleenex when she sneezes. 




















In between classes we went out to the round pen to play fetch, and then I refused to walk back to school so Marty had to carry me (I thought we might have to get in the car).  For that class I showed them that I can put my toys back in my bag (which I have been able to do since I was a puppy) and that I can sit like a lion (Marty calls this "sit pretty"). 















We also practiced not eating chicken bones left on the ground and being polite when our humans want to run their mouths.

After class, Marty tricked me into going outside and then put me in the car and we went to the farm.  There was some excitement there because a fox tried to play fetch with the chickens and got caught in the fence.  I did not get to see the fox because Animal Control had already come in the morning to get rid of it, but the fence is all torn up and I did get to help move the chickens.

We played more fetch and then we went back to the little house because Marty says she cannot trust me to cooperate in the mornings.  Yes, she actually said that.  Because SHE has such a good reputation for cooperating in the mornings.  Whatever, I hate her.

Playing With Chickens

One of the chickens came out to play fetch with me this morning.  She's not as fun as my ball!

Marty and Lyle grounded all the chickens for not staying in their fence and clipped their wings.  I'm glad I don't have wings, it's bad enough when they trim my toenails!

Beavers!

Marty and my great-grandhuman went to dinner at H.Bill's house to play with his new littermate today.  I wanted to go, but I did not want to ride in the car and Marty says it is too far to walk.  When they got back, Marty wanted to play on her computer (and she wasn't updating my blog), but I know she needs more exercise and clearly I should be the top priority at all times, so I waited until my Aunt Becky called and then I shamed her into taking me swimming at the little house.

Marty was not being sufficiently reinforcing for me to give back the bumper, and she was getting frustrated, and then something AWESOME happened.  I looked out into the water and I saw a LIVE BUMPER!  I swam out to retrieve it, and Marty threw the bumper in the other direction to see if I would be distracted, but I was NOT.  Unfortunately, the bumper made a giant splash and disappeared JUST as I was getting ready to grab it.  I looked for it for a long time, but I couldn't find it, so I decided I'd go ahead and get the bumper that Marty had thrown.

After I brought that back, I saw the LIVE BUMPER again, so I went back out to get it, but it splashed and disappeared AGAIN.  Marty tried to convince me to come out of the water, but I did not.  She tried to convince me for a long time, and she broke the string on one of my not-live bumpers and lost it.  I lost the other one because I had it when I went to grab the LIVE BUMPER and I don't know where I left it.

I didn't actually fetch the LIVE BUMPER at all, and Marty caught me and dragged me up to the house and hosed me off (but she's nicer about it than Lyle is) and now I am on swimming restriction indefinitely.

Mr. Tripoli Is Babysitting Me

Marty and Lyle came home early and I THOUGHT we were going to the farm, but we got in the car for a long time and when we got out we were at Mr. Tripoli's house.  I went right in to say hello, and guess who else is here?  SOPHIE!!

I played ball outside for a long time. Sophie and Mr. Tripoli were outside too, but they didn't get to fetch.  Even though they are allegedly retrievers, they do not have a proper appreciation for what to do with a ball.






Eventually, Marty decided I was too tired to keep playing.  The crazies and my grandhumans left to go to a party for Sophie's humans, and we are home alone.  Mr. Tripoli is in charge of us!

Swimming For An Audience

My great-grandhuman is visiting us at the little house tonight, and he wanted to watch me swim.  Even though I swim at the farm all the time, he had NEVER come to watch.  At the little house, you can see me swimming without having to walk to the lake.  Lyle is really getting good at throwing the bumpers WAY out there.



I was so awesome that our neighbors came out and turned all their chairs around so they could see me too.  They were very excited to see how awesome I am and they stayed and watched me for a long time.  I was swimming so well, people from the OTHER side of the lake stopped their cars to watch me and take pictures!

Eventually I had to come in because Lyle was making me chicken to share with my great-grandhuman and it was done.  I didn't have to get a bath, but Lyle SPRAYED me with a hose.  I did NOT like it.  After that Marty rubbed towels all over me and my great-grandhuman said he was impressed by what a good swimmer I am!

After dinner we went downstairs to watch the fake humans and I snuggled with my great-grandhuman.  I am not sure he has much practice at snuggling puppies, but I am trying to teach him.

Swimming At The Little House

Since the measle outbreak, I have not been allowed to do as much swimming as we all know I should.  I've been protesting, but it hasn't accomplished much.

Today when Lyle came home to check me at lunch (part of my protest was refusing to go outside this morning) I tried to pull him into the water, but he said that he had to go back to WORK and that we couldn't play.

When they finally came home, I convinced them to let me swim and it was AWESOME!  I have only been swimming at the little house one other time this year.  The water has hardly any disgusting stuff (more's the pity) and it's BIG.






The only downside to swimming at the little house is that the crazies insist on giving me a bath afterwards.  I don't really hate baths, but I don't understand why we have to do it either.

Dragged Down The Highway

Marty and Lyle came back from their adventure with H.Bill and his littermates and decided that they hadn't spent enough time on the bike.  So they attached me to it with a stick and made me go along!  Even though it was late and I had been playing fetch and was tired and hot.

There is a clip on the stick that gets snapped to my allowed-to-pull harness, but it tried to pull my harness off of me sideways, so Marty just snapped the clip to my collar.  I decided we should stop, and Marty and Lyle were still going, so I THREW myself on the ground (like I do) and I got DRAGGED behind the bike until my collar slid off.  Marty was not very sympathetic.  They put my collar back on me and started up again. 

I ran along for a little while, but then I smelled a really yummy smelling dead thing, so I threw myself on the ground again, got dragged, and popped my collar off.  This is a good way to get Marty and Lyle to stop.  I need to remember to tell H.Bill next time I see him.

After the stop for the dead thing, we went back to the house.  I *almost* threw myself on the ground one more time, but Marty yelled at me, and I figured I had better behave until we got home or she might make us turn around and go farther.






I don't know why they think this biking thing is fun.  I think it is stressful and tiring, and I needed a nap to recover.

So That's What This Is For

After one of the first hot days at the farm Marty bought this giant blue mat that stays up there.  We practiced "office hours" on it for a while, and I am happy to go lie down on it for treats, but I never really saw the point and mostly just saw it as an obstacle to my living room floor access.

The farm gets really hot because we don't have air conditioning there and it's such a good place for fetch.  The obvious solution is for the crazies to take me swimming more, but sometimes they won't, so I just lay on the floor and pant and wheeze. 

However, I have just realized that laying on the blue mat helps me cool off faster.  It stays cold, and so I am not as hot.  I really wish someone had told me this before the summer ended.

Compostable Me

Everyone's been really busy doing "projects" up here this weekend.  I'm just hanging out. 










Yankee's Uncle Brian says they composted an entire HORSE where he works, but I don't think Marty would REALLY compost me.

So Much School

We've been coming to Miss Pat's for exactly one year.

This is me sleeping through school on my first night.





















This is me wishing I were allowed to sleep now.

We Don't Need No Stinking Collars

We spent the day at the farm.  I went swimming in the gross pond.  After we got back, my collar was wet and icky, so I took it off.  I was going to bury it, but Marty caught me and made me put it back on.  And now they're going to make it tighter!

They Don't Even Want To Spend Time With Me

You know what they did last year when I was a tiny baby puppy?  They left me to go listen to some stupid music.  You know what they're doing tonight?  Leaving me to go listen to the same stupid music!  Even though they already know all the songs!

Navidson even called to see if I wanted to go to the park, but my stupid humans wouldn't take me.  I'm pretty mad.

At least last year, my grandhuman was here to stay with me when they went to the dumb music thing.  This year I have to stay home alone.  Maybe I will destroy something to get back at them.

This is me a year ago, when they loved me.

This is me now when they don't.

It's Been A Year!

I came to live with the crazies a year ago today!  They love me, and they're usually pretty okay, so I think I'll keep them.  We celebrated by them taking H.Bill and his littermates out and leaving me home alone.  Worse than that, they smelled like hot dogs!  I'm reconsidering the whole keeping them thing.


This is me and Lyle then.

And this is us now.

Chilling At The Farm

Marty and Lyle spent ALL DAY at the beach yesterday and they did not take me AT ALL.  I am SO MAD!  They had H. Bill and his littermates there and they even got them Sonic, and I DID NOT GET ANY.

We left my grandhumans very late.  (Yes, I had to be dragged out on my back, what of it?)  We got back to the little house in the middle of the night and I went straight to bed.  I was so mad at the crazies that I didn't even honor them with my presence in the big bed.

This morning they had to get up and go to work (good riddance) and I was so mad I didn't even get out of bed.  Marty had to come home at lunch and check on me.  I had decided to get up by then, but I still didn't want to do anything, because I am so mad.

They came home from work early and we went to the farm.  I thought they were trying to get back on my good side, but Marty said we weren't going swimming in the rain.  I don't understand why not.  I was hyper and annoying so they had to play a lot of fetch.





I wanted to play more fetch, but Marty said we had to feed my great-grandhuman, so we had to come in.  Lyle says this is not the best way to get burgers.  I agree, it would be easier on everyone if I had a plate at the table.

We came back to the little house and Lyle went to bed, but I made Marty play fetch inside.  She said I had an "unauthorized ball".  I said, "maybe you should have taken me swimming".

Look Who Came To See Me!

Awesome Audrey!  She's soooooooooooooooooo big now!

Busy, Busy, Busy

I'm at Mr. Tripoli's!  Marty and Lyle and I have been VERY busy, and I don't know if I'll EVER catch up on everything we've been doing, but tonight, we are all staying with my grandhumans.  Tomorrow H. Bill and his littermates are coming to visit me here, but Marty says maybe we can go TO THE BEACH in the morning before they get here.

It's a good thing I'm here, because I found out that my grandhumans are neglecting Mr. Tripoli terribly.  He hasn't been swimming even once since I sent him his gift bag.  We went swimming almost as soon as we got here.  Marty says Mr. Tripoli is more efficient than I am, but that I am more enthusiastic.  I like to stay in the water, so Mr. Tripoli has to take the bumpers up to the humans.

It's Not Bad Enough They Take Me To The Vet

Now we have to go to the vet for "practice".  When Marty gets home from work we have to get in the car, even though she knows I do not like being in the car, and then we go to the vet.  And she knows I HATE being at the vet.

I am not sick, and I do not know why we are doing this.  (Marty says I have measles, but dogs do not get measles, I just have some red spots on my stomach from swimming at the pond.)

There's not even any POINT to us going to the vet.  We just sit there and watch a lot of stupid dogs and stupider humans and Marty gives me treats.  (She tries to give me treats.  I have to spend about ten minutes doing a civil disobedience exercise first where I protest, spitting out treats and trying to escape.  After that I figure we'll never leave if I don't eat some treats, so I try to cooperate.)  Hanging out with the stupids is not have a good effect on Marty.  I'm embarrassed to be associated with her.

After I eat enough treats, we go to the park.  It's the only thing about this stupid new plan that isn't horrible.  I hope Marty gets past this stupid new idea soon.

Dog School - Outside

We are doing Fidos On The Farm again this year.  I have decided that since Marty has had so much more school, it's time to increase the criteria.  So I refuse to take treats, and only occasionally look at the ball.  And I do this IN FRONT OF Miss Pat!  Miss Pat has a firm rule that humans are not allowed to be mean to their dogs and that means Marty can't even drag me around by the leash.  Hahaha on Marty.  She is learning humilty.

My Pond Is Super Gross (And I Don't Care)

Marty doesn't play with me as much as she should, so I have developed a new strategy.  When we go to the farm, I run around and find the most disgusting thing I can, and then I roll in it.  Marty doesn't like how that smells (she should try it, I don't always like how she smells either), so we get to GO SWIMMING!

The pond is only a little less disgusting than the things I'm rolling in, but it's SWIMMING!

Navidson Is Visiting Again

Navidson is staying with us for a little while (or so he says) while Dan is visiting Mr. Scout and his parents.  We stayed up late last night being crazy so this morning Marty wanted to sleep in.  If Navidson is going to keep sleeping over, we're going to need a bigger bed!




Marty said that since we're both such good dogs, we do not have to be in our crates while the crazies go to work.  Navidson and I are going to play ALL DAY LONG!

Dundee!

I had a very exciting day.  We went to a new toy store, and I got to pick out a new ball.  We also bought hooves and Kong spray, and since I already have hooves and Kong spray, I was a little confused.  Every now and then Marty entertains the idea of getting me a sibling, and I do not want a sibling.  I was a little wound up while we were in line, and Marty said I was being a dingbat even though other people said I was a good dog.

We got back in the car and went to Aunt Becky's, and just for a minute I thought maybe I was finally going to be allowed to live there.  But no, we were just there to meet my great-uncle Richard's new puppy.  He is SO SMALL!  He doesn't know he's small though, he thinks he's as big as me.  And he barks!  Not like my cousin Belle, but maybe he'll grow into it.  

I was a very good playmate!  He had to keep his leash on because my great-uncle Richard is afraid he will run away.  I do not have to keep my leash on.  Marty probably wouldn't care if I ran away.  Dundee doesn't fetch yet, but he likes to run after me while I fetch.  He's so tiny he has to run about a hundred steps for every one of mine, but he NEVER GETS TIRED!

It was hot and I got tired, and when we went inside I drooled and took a nap, and Marty played with Dundee.  She taught him to play with one of my tugs, and she said he could keep it because I have extras.  Dundee is lucky to have me around!  I hope he still wants to play when he's bigger!

New Friends

Marty got home so late on Sunday night that it was already Monday morning.  Lyle and I were asleep, but I heard an intruder and sounded the alarm!  When I went downstairs, it was Marty.  She said I was a good dog for guarding Lyle, but I think she was just happy I'd gotten out of bed because she thought she could beat me back to the best spot.  Haha.  Humans are very slow, I made it back first!  She did make me move eventually, and she wonders why I don't miss her when she's gone.

Monday night I got to meet two new friends.  Their human is Marty's godson.  (If you're confused by all these humans, how do you think I feel?)  They're both girls.  One of them is almost as old as Mr. Tripoli and the other one is a little younger than me!  The younger one, Kona, tried to eat me when she first got out of the car and I was welcoming her to my driveway, but since Sherman, I am a little braver about that sort of thing.

Then we all walked to the park and I played fetch and they played chase me.  Then I played lay in a hole and be hot and they did some other stuff.  It was making a lot of noise in the sky and even raining a little, but Marty said she would rather get struck by lightening than take three unruly dogs back to the little house.  I don't know where she thought she was going to get three unruly dogs, maybe she was going to visit a shelter?

We did eventually all go back to the little house and play wrestle.  When Kona and I were wrestling, Harley (that's Kona's sibling, not Lyle's loud bike thing) kept trying to eat Kona.  I thought that was pretty funny, but the humans did not.

I'm looking forward to another playdate with them soon.

Why Lyle Is The Best Human

Park visits:  5.  School attendance:  0!

Lyle even called Dan and I got to meet Navidson at the park!  Nav is really lucky because he only has a Dan, not a Marty too.








Sooooo much time at the park.  I'm worn out!

I Don't Miss Her At All

Lyle is my favorite human.  He's taken me to the park every day and TWICE today!

Maybe I Miss Her A Little

Marty is still gone.  I have taken up my rightful place on the couch.

We Can Watch Whatever We Want!

Marty is still gone!  Lyle and I are having a good time.  We watched tv that Marty doesn't like and I got a LOT of treats just for NOTHING!  It was almost as good as having my grandhuman around.







I tried to convince Lyle to take me to the farm, but he said he needed to get more parts for the tractor first.

Marty Has Left Us!

We had a pretty typical week going.  We went to the farm on Monday and even though there are now MORE chickens, I am STILL not allowed to eat them.  I told Marty I could just eat one, but she said I can just eat none.  Rude.  The new chickens are getting beat up by the old chickens, so at least now Marty has some idea of what it would be like if she tried to get me a sibling.

Tuesday night we had dog school, and I am sorta learning how to copy what Marty does.  (Not very well yet, because Marty is EVEN WORSE at office hours than I am, and when she tries to do punch it she looks ridiculous.  Humans might have an advantage with their opposable thumbs, but dogs definitely have the advantage in four legs.)

Wednesday night we had more dog school and I had to practice staying.  Staying is not hard, but sometimes Marty wants me to sit the whole time, which I don't understand because lying down is much more comfortable.  Then we practiced walking nicely around other dogs and I got chicken.  Next week we are going to practice coming when called.  I'm planning to embarrass Marty on that one.

Thursday morning Marty got up first (which NEVER happens) and packed her bag and LEFT.  I do not know where she has gone or what she is doing, but I hope this means I AM DONE WITH DOG SCHOOL FOREVER!

Lyle took me to the park which is WAY better than dog school.  Lyle loves me and wants me to be happy.








I am happy that Marty is gone because she normally hogs the bed.  Without her here, I can stretch out and be comfortable as is my right.