Cleaning Out The Lily Pond

My humans are crazy.  After we got back from our walk, I only got a short nap and then the crazies dragged me outside so I could help them clean out their lily pond.  If you had a nice stinky place to get wet and muddy would you clean it out?  Of course not.

It did look like they were having a lot of fun though, because they got very muddy and stinky.  I helped by riding on the wagon when we dumped the weeds out.  I got muddy and stinky too. Marty made me take another bath afterwards, and that was not fun.  I don't understand why humans go to the trouble of getting muddy and stinky if they're just going to insist on washing it off right afterwards.  Lyle and I are taking another nap now, and then we're going to go to Lowe's and get toys.

Walking with Ziggy

Good thing I rested up, because I had a very busy morning.  Lyle was working on the grapevines, so I had to supervise that for a little while.  On the way back I found a feather!  It was a little scary at first, but I'm tough and pretty soon I picked it up and ran around with it.






After the grapevines, Marty and Lyle took me on a walk on Crickenberger today.  Ziggy came with us!  Despite what this picture shows, I mostly walked nicely on my leash today.  It's a really long walk though, and I was still pretty tired from this morning, so Marty had to carry me for part of the way.  She wants me to practice being carried like a sheep, but I don't like that, so a lot of times she has to carry me like a football instead.

We saw horses, but I already know about those from dog school on Monday's so I wasn't that impressed.  I didn't get to swim in the pond because it's completely covered in algae, but I did get to play in the creek for a little while.  And a lady in a special truck stopped and gave me a cookie!  Crickenberger walks are one of my favorite things about the farm.

Marty and Lyle have some crazy project planned for later, so I need another nap!

Naptime At The Farm

Yesterday was a pretty good day for one we spent in the little house.  Marty had some meetings that I couldn't go to, so Lyle was home with me.  We played a lot, and then we worked on his truck for a little while.  Marty said she missed us and so she came home to play too.  For reasons that I don't yet understand, she thinks it's cool if I put my paws on this weird little cart thing they have.  I mean, whatever, she gives me treats for it.



I have been slowly convincing them to give me more and more freedom from the box.  I still have to be in there when they leave me home alone.  (This is ridiculous, by the way, how am I going to defend the house if I'm locked in the box?!)  But when they're home, even when they're doing something else, I mostly am allowed to be out now.  Yesterday I got my own place in their bedroom so I'll stop trying to sleep on the covers they kick off the bed.  My humans are getting better trained every day.

We came up to the farm late last night, and Lyle was tired so I went upstairs to put him to bed.  He put me in the box with zombie dog, but something was wrong with him!  I barked a lot to let Lyle know.  Pretty soon Marty came upstairs to find out why I was barking.  (I don't bark in the crate at night anymore.)  She checked on us and it turns out zombie dog's heart had stopped!  Luckily, Marty did something that took care of him again, and we were able to settle down and go to sleep.

My great-grandhuman gave me cookies when he made coffee this morning.  I don't know who trained him, but he's awesome.  After we'd had coffee, Lyle and I went and got the wildlife pics this morning, but something must be wrong with the camera, because we didn't get any good pics again this week.  All that excitement has all three of us worn out, so we're all going to take naps now.  We are going to be busy later today, so I have to rest up!

Endangering My Well Being

When training humans, it's important to move them out of their comfort zone in small steps.  Going too far all at once can cause problems.  I may have pushed Marty too hard today.  As you know, she insists on tying me to the seat when we drive places without Lyle.  This is horrible, abusive behavior, and I've made my feelings on it clear, but she doesn't seem to care.  So, while we were driving to work to pick up Lyle and go to wild dog school tonight, I barked RIGHT IN HER EAR!  She got really, really mad and had some kind of a meltdown.  

We stopped over at Marty's friends Hadley and Lisa's house for dinner before school and she told them my middle name is "Rotten".  They were really cool and I'm going to go back and visit them again soon.  (Did you know walking boots are not chew toys?  One more thing for the list I am making.  It gets bigger every day.)  I only barked during dinner when I got all the cheese out of my bone and needed Marty to put more in.  She told them that is exactly what she means by rotten.

Then we went to school.  I started in with the littles again, but they were boring this week so I got to go out and play with the bigger puppies.  I did run around a little, but I didn't actually play much.  Then during the lecture I was so noisy that I got my own special assistant to come over and feed me treats so I would be quiet.  See, I am such a good trainer I'm even training the staff at wild dog school!  Marty told the trainers that she is thinking about getting the spray bottle out to deal with the barking.  I'm not sure what that means, but it doesn't sound good and it got a lot of attention from the trainers.  They mostly said that this is normal for a puppy my age and Marty needs to be patient.  If they'd asked me, I could have told them that patience is not Marty's best thing.  They also said I need more exercise because "tired puppies are good puppies".  Marty said she is going to start taking me for big walks because the chances of me getting sick from germs are way smaller than the chances of her doing something I'd regret.  (That's actually what she said, that she'd do something *I'd* regret.  Rude.)  I am looking forward to big walks, because "tired humans are good humans".

After the lecture part (they talked about how I should get better things to chew on instead of Marty and Lyle), we played again.  This time I did try to play a little, but mostly I ran around under chairs.  Here is a picture of a typical example of me "playing" at school.  (That's me under the chair.)

We're probably going back to the farm tomorrow, thank goodness, but I think they're going to take me to the toy store and get me some pig ears or something first.  I'm pretty excited for that!

I Am A Tyrant!

Some dogs like to rule their humans as benevolent dictators.  Some let their humans believe they're in charge.  A few unfortunate ones (not Chessies) are even content to let the humans set the rules.  I, on the other hand, think it's best to be up front with my humans right from the beginning.  I am in charge, and they exist solely to assist me in my plans for world domination.  Their opposable thumbs, ready access to transportation, and high speed connectivity make them excellent minons.

I've been reasonably patient with them so far, but it's about time they get with the program.  The first thing they need is a laser like focus on me.  To this end, I've upped my barking regimen.  Any time I notice they've gotten slightly distracted from me, I bark.  In order to keep things interesting, I also bark at toys, treats, and just for fun.  Next, they need to know that they go where I want them to, when I want them to.  I've noticed Marty thinks she can walk down the stairs whenever she wants, without offering me freeze-dried liver on every step.  I've had to take a stern position on this, growling and biting at her feet whenever she goes without my permission.  Finally, they need to understand that all good things belong to me.  This means my toys are mine, but so are their shoes, all electrical cords, every piece of furniture, and the warm spot on the couch.  I may choose to let them share these things, but they are mine, and my primacy must be respected.  The crazies are having a hard time learning the fundamental tenets of their new lifestyle, and I am increasingly frustrated with them. 

Yesterday was the second consecutive day that my humans did not introduce me to any new people.  #HumanFail.  Navidson did come over for a playdate, and I stayed awake this time.  We played together a little bit, but mostly we played separately, but at the same time.  My grandhuman says this is called "parallel play" and is a stepping stone toward us playing together later.  Tonight I have the wild dog school, so we will definitely be meeting new people and dogs today.

They continue to lock me in my box not just at night, but also whenever they leave to do anything else (another example of their failure to understand their lives revolve around me now).  I do not appreciate this, and so I bark to make sure they know I'm displeased.  This morning Marty started playing something called "crate games" with me.  It seems to mean that if I stay in the box even with the door open, then I get chicken.  More on that after I figure out why she wants me to do this.

Checking Out The Water

We have a lake behind our house, so yesterday Marty and Lyle decided I should check it out.  I got wet and waded around, but I didn't swim yet.  Marty says that we are going to visit my grandhumans in about a week and a half, and that if I haven't figured out how to swim by then their dog (Mr. Tripoli) will teach me how.  Our lake is really muddy and has all kinds of wonderful stinky things in it.

The best part about playing in the water is that you get muddy and stinky!  The worst part about playing in the water is that humans do not have an appropriate appreciation for muddy and stinky.  Marty put me in the bathtub afterwards.  I HATE the bathtub.







After playing in the water and getting the dreaded bath, I was SO TIRED I fell asleep like this.

Navidson is coming to my house this afternoon for another playdate.  I'm doing better at staying awake, so maybe today we'll play!

SONIC!

I had to go to the vet again.  This time it was much worse than last time.  I *did* have to get a shot, and Dr. Richards squirted some stuff in my nose, and they took my temperature the BAD way (last time they used the ear thermometer), and I had to get worm stuff EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE WORMS!  Marty brought me left over fried chicken from last night though, so I was very brave and very good.  I've gained 2.6lbs and now I weigh 15.1!

We went to school again, and since it was so important to Marty that I didn't sleep, I made sure she knew I was awake by barking A LOT.  I bet she's sorry she didn't let me sleep now!  I almost played with Hudson this time, but not really.  Maybe next week.  We practiced sits and downs and walking on a leash.  Most of that I am okay at.  Then we practiced "trade".  It's not a bad deal.  You let the human have your toy for just a second and they give you a meatball and then give you back the toy.

After class the best thing ever happened.  We went to this place called Sonic!  I LOVE SONIC!  Marty says if I try to be good, we can stop every week after class!

National Dog Day

In case you didn't know it, today is National Dog Day!  I'm celebrating by being awesome.  Of course, by that criteria every day should be National Dog Day.  Guess what?  There's no such thing as "National Human Day".  Why do you think that is...

Marty and Lyle finally took me hiking yesterday.  Apparently "hiking" is what humans say when they mean "drive for a long time to take a walk".  We met a LOT of people and several dogs.  Everyone said nice things about me, and all the other dogs were friendly.  We hiked almost three miles, and I only got carried for a little while.  Marty said that was part of the plan, because she wants me to be comfortable getting carried like that when I'm a big dog.  I don't think she's going to be comfortable carrying me like that when I'm a big dog!

Every time we met someone on the trail, Marty said, "Another opportunity to practice sitting!"  I wonder if she knows how ridiculous she sounds.  Also, sitting gets really boring after a while, so we practiced lying down instead.  The other ridiculous thing she said was, "Tight leashes never go anywhere."  First of all, they do so, I saw LOTS of other dogs going forward with super tight leashes.  Secondly, as you know, my particular humans are lazy slugs, so you'd THINK they'd want the assist a little pulling could give them.  But as soon as I start to help, I get, "Tight leashes never go anywhere!"  And I have to go ALL THE WAY BACK to Marty and check on her, and then go RIGHT BACK WHERE I ALREADY WAS!  Humans, whose idea were they?!

I played with Ziggy again for a few minutes yesterday morning.  Still no pictures, we're working out the details with the contract.  I was better, but he's really big, and I got scared, so we didn't play for very long.  I'm getting bigger all the time, so I think pretty soon we'll be able to play for longer.

I forgot to mention that I got to meet some more really cool humans this weekend.  Lyle cooked things for them.  (I didn't get any, again.  I hate my humans.)  They gave me treats and they think I'm adorable.  (I am.)  I showed off how well I'm training Marty and Lyle and then I even trained them a little.  That much training is hard work though, so pretty soon I needed a nap.

Today I have to go back to the vet and see how much I've grown.  And then we have dog school, and Marty really doesn't want me to sleep through it.  No promises!

I Love The Farm!

Everything up here is better than when we're stuck in the little house.  I didn't even cry when they put me in the box last night.

I got to play on the tractor with my great-grandhuman.  I like it.  Marty said she'll teach me to drive it when I'm just a little bigger.

Lyle said my pictures didn't show up on the wildlife cam this week, so I'm hoping for next time.







I worked on training my humans to feed me treats when I go to them.  They're getting pretty good, but they need to give me my treats faster.  This is me waiting for my treat after I ran a LONG WAY to get to Lyle.  Look how nicely I'm sitting to wait!  He should be down at my level with the treat already out.






Lyle thinks it's cute when I crawl like an army guy.  I don't do it for him very often, because I'm not an army dog, I'm a Navy and Marine dog.  But I have to keep trying to get him to offer new behaviors, so I do it every now and then.  This is him giving me a treat after I did it.  (I'd do it more if he'd give me the beer instead!)

No Milkshake

So we're driving to the farm, finally, not in time to go hiking, when Marty realizes she hasn't introduced me to any new people today.  You're not going to believe what she did.  She made Lyle stop at an ice cream place, sent him inside to get milkshakes and walked over a bunch of guy humans and asked them to hold me.  I was so embarrassed.  They all made nice noises about me, and wanted to take me home.  I thought when Lyle came back he would be mad because Marty was sharing me with other humans, but he just laughed and said Marty was old enough to be their mother.

You know what the worst part was?  I didn't even get ice cream!

Now that we're at the farm, things are looking up.  Marty was trying to practice giving me treats for sitting, but I am bored with that, so I started teaching her shake.  That's the trick I have to be able to do for the last week of dog school.  I can already do it, but I'm training her to say the word.

Marty has something to do in the morning, so I'm hanging out with Lyle and my great-grandhuman.  Pretty sure we can find a good way to get into trouble!

Kong Proof

A few of you may have expressed doubts about my willingness to manage a Kong.  Here's proof.  This is video of the first time I emptied every piece of kibble out of one.

Training My Humans

Whoo.  Having humans is hard work!  I finally succeeded in convincing Marty I didn't have to sleep in the box.  She let me sleep on the couch with her last night.  I didn't cry at all, and I wasn't even squirmy until about 6am.  She says this is NOT AN OPTION when I'm a big dog, but I say wait and see.  Added bonus, zombie dog is not allowed downstairs, so I got a night away from his stupidity.

This afternoon I had another playdate, this time with the two dogs that live across the street.  They're close to my size, even though they're already grown up.  I was a little more awake than yesterday with Navidson, but not much.  I really like their human puppy, so I hope they'll still let me play when I'm bigger than them!

Marty made me go to school again tonight.  Lyle didn't go, so I was supposed to ride on the passenger seat.  I like to ride in Marty's lap when we're in the car (even when she's driving).  She said that was OUT OF THE QUESTION during Washington rush hour, so she TIED ME TO THE SEAT!  She said it was "safer".  Does this look safer to you??  Miraculously, I made it there without being strangled.  I don't like this place as much as my Monday night class.  There are a lot more dogs and they're all crazy.  I got to stay with the little dogs tonight, but pretty soon I will be moving out with the really wild ones.  Tonight's goal was to go through some sort of tunnel.  Some of the other dogs went through, but I decided it would be better to watch from under Marty's chair.  By the end of class I did play a little, and Marty says we are going back next week whether I want to or not.  Since we were both traumatized from class, I rode in Marty's lap on the way home.

So remember how I told you I was training Marty and Lyle to tip the Kong up and give me kibble?  They've been getting progressively worse at it, so I've finally given up.  I guess some humans are just not cut out for Kongs.  This means I have to do the Kongs all by myself now.  Maybe I'll try them on sterile beef bones instead.

So, my lazy slug humans like to sit on their couch at night and stare at pretend humans.  They should be playing with me, but they don't.  I think if they're going to ignore me, then at the very least I should be allowed to be on the couch with them.  But no, they keep saying "off" and "four on the floor".  It's ridiculous.  So now we have a new rule.  They have a mat like the one in the box, and when that's on the couch, I can get up.  If it's not, I'm supposed to stay on the floor.  That's their plan anyway.  I'm working on training them to pick me up whenever I sit in front of them and look cute.

Tomorrow we're going back to the farm (finally).  Marty says if it's not too late, we might even go hiking on the way up.  I can't wait!

My First Playdate (or: Napping At Navidson's)

I had my first playdate today.  I met Navidson!  His human is WAY better trained than the crazies.  He already knows how to give Navidson treats for spinning, for sitting by his side, for touching things, and all kinds of stuff!  I'm really looking forward to when I have my humans that well trained.  I went to his house to meet him.  (It smelled vaguely familiar, so I think he may have been in my house before I moved in.)  I got to sniff around his yard a little and then he came out.  His human (his name is Dan) gave him some treats and then we let Marty and Dan take their leashes off.  He wasn't sure I was a dog at first, but Marty and Dan told him I was.  It was too hot to play much outside, so we went back in the house.  Navidson let me have some of his water since Marty didn't bring me any of my own (see what I mean about them needing training?).  I like Navidson, but I was too tired to play much, so I mostly laid on the floor and watched him.  Pretty soon Marty said that if I was going to nap, I could nap at home.  We're going to get together again next week, so I'll try to work on her patience in the meantime.

Party Time! (Nap Time!)

So the crazies had a big party here last night... there were probably about thirty humans over, if you count the puppies.  The crazies were home setting up for a long time, and Joyce and Nita were here doing all the real work, so I was very busy supervising during the day.  By the time the party started, I was really tired, so mostly I napped.

Marty and Lyle are starting to leave me unsupervised while I'm napping.  I'm going to lull them into a false sense of security and then destroy something really good.  I also figured out yesterday that I can go under the baby gate and all the way downstairs while they're not paying attention.  There is a lot of stuff down there that could be greatly improved by some custom chew marks.

Here's a piece of trivia you may or may not know about humans:  They hardly have any fur at all, and so they wear stuff over their skin all the time.  Not just that, but they change the stuff a lot, and they wash all the smells out, so sometimes it's hard to tell if you've met a given human before or not.  Yesterday they finally let me hang out with a human puppy I can remember.  His name is H. Bill and he doesn't bother with that fake fur stuff.  I'm looking forward to hanging out with him again when I'm more awake.

Marty and Lyle seemed a little depressed yesterday, I guess one of their human friends is going away.  (That's why they had the party.)  So I decided to give them a break.  No peeing in the house, and I only cried a little when they put me in the box with zombie dog.  I want them to take me to the farm tonight, but they said "probably not".  However, I'm supposed to have a playdate this afternoon, so at least there's something to look forward to.

School

This was not my best day.  My humans need a LOT of training.

Marty kept me up until after 2am last night, so I was exhausted and was still asleep when the alarm went off at seven.  Their sluggish ways may be contagious.  

Lyle stayed home with me until almost ten, and then I had to take a nap in my box.  Marty came home to have lunch with me about noon, and we worked on training.  Did you know that humans cannot be trusted to stay with you unless you attach a string to them?  Ridiculous!  I put one on Marty for the first time today.  Just to make sure she understood how it worked, I threw some of my best rodeo moves at her, but she managed to hold on.  I think this is probably going to work out, but it sure is a lot of trouble  right now.  

I had to go back in my box after lunch, but then Joyce and Nita came over, so I hung out with them for a while.  Marty came home to get me about 4:30.  Now that I have the string on her, Marty doesn't make me just stay in the stupid rectangle anymore.  That may have something to do with the fact that every time she dumps me in there, I bark at her.  She really doesn't like my barking, so it's an excellent training tool.  While we were walking around, a big truck that played funny music came and some of the human puppies went running to get frozen biscuits.  Marty asked their mom if I could meet them and she said yes.  I liked two of them okay, but one of them was dressed like a big red and blue spider and I DID NOT LIKE that.  Human puppies are weird enough without adding spiders to the mix.  Their mom asked Marty if she was a professional dog trainer.  She should have asked me if I am a professional human trainer.  Obviously, Marty is better trained than I am.

When Lyle got home we had to drive to school.  It's a long drive, and I slept.  My class has four puppies.  Hudson - a ten week old lab puppy.  Murphy - a five month old golden retriever.  LittleFoot - a four month old terrier mix, I think.  And me.  There are also two big dogs.  One is a cocker spaniel, and one is a pit bull/lab mix, but I can't remember their names.  We each get our own little station with a mat and a water bowl and we work with our own people.  I have trained Marty and Lyle to give me a treat every time I put my butt on the ground.  I'm working on getting them to give me a treat for putting my elbows down, but they're having a little more trouble with that.  We practiced those two things for a while, and then we practiced "polite greetings".  This means Miss Jessica comes over and says hello and gives you a treat if you don't jump up.  I am not training Miss Jessica, so I didn't bother getting up.  She tried to give me treats, but I didn't want them.  I mean, the goal of the exercise was not to jump up on her.  I didn't jump up.  I think she should have just moved along to Hudson, who plainly could have used the extra time, but she kept trying to get me to eat her treats.  After that we practiced putting our elbows down some more.  I put my elbows down and took a nap.  School is really boring.  After class there was time for me to play with the other puppies, but I stayed asleep.  Eventually they will learn that Chessies are introverted dogs that just like to be close friends with their own humans.  Labs and Goldens can do enough socializing for the whole class.

We're spending the night at the farm tonight, which is awesome.  I'm making good progress towards teaching Lyle to pee outside, but I need to teach him to aim better.  Tonight when we got here, he almost peed on me!  He did NOT get any chicken for that!

The Farm

I had ADVENTURES today!

After the crazies *finally* got moving (it took them a while, despite me getting them up about seven; I think this had something to do with whatever it was they were doing last night while I had to stay with my grandhuman), we got in the car and drove up to the farm.  It's my new favorite place.  I'm allowed to run around and be awesome, instead of being cooped up in the tiny rectangle they usually let me play in.  There's so much to smell, and so much to do.  I marched Lyle down to change out the memory card on the wildlife cam, so I expect some really great pictures of me next week.  Inspecting everything was a big job, and I was pretty worn out from that, so I was on my best behavior when I met my great-grandhuman.  The very first words he said when he saw me were, "Patrick will grow!"  I'm not sure why he thinks my name is Patrick, but Marty says this is a reference to a book he used to read her and her littermates when they were puppies.

After I'd hung out with him for a while (and had a short nap) it was time to go visit Aunt Becky, so we got in the truck and drove to Baltimore.  I've pretty much decided that being sick in the car isn't a good plan, considering that crazies seem like they're always on the road.  So now I just chillax and nap or look out the window.  I'm officially a "truck riding dog"!



Aunt Becky is so cool.  She bought me a present just for coming to visit her.  My very own wrapping paper!  (There was a cow too, but I like the paper best.)  I left her a benevolent bestowment to thank her for her hospitality, but Marty picked it up in a bag and threw it in the trash!  I go out of my way to leave special, personal, one of a kind gifts for people, and they treat them like poop!



Marty and Aunt Becky were looking around the house and talking about boring human things, so I decided it would be a good time to work on training Lyle.  I'm trying to teach him to be calm and settle down.  He's catching onto this pretty quickly.

We went back to the farm for dinner, and I got to meet a new big dog that lives next door.  His name is Ziggy and he's part Anatolian Shepherd.  I was a little intimidated at first, but he's really friendly, so I played with him for a few minutes.  Marty wanted to get some pictures, but I told her to wait until next time.  Ziggy hadn't signed any waivers, and my PR people like to be sure I always get top billing.  We'll try to set something up for our next playdate.

After the crazies ate dinner they played some weird game about peeing on knuckles.  I'm really working hard at demonstrating that we're only supposed to pee on grass, so I just took a nap while they were doing that.  Then we had to get back in the car to come home.  My grandhuman is leaving in the morning, and we've got a big week planned.

Tomorrow is my first day of school already, and since I haven't done any of my homework, I'm really planning to embarrass the crazies.  More on that topic soon!

Pooping on Marty

I slept okay last night.  They put the zombie dog in the box with me again, he still refuses to communicate.  I screamed for a while, but the crazies continue to be jerks and ignored me.  I got up about 3:30 again and this time Lyle took me out.  I got put back in the box when we came back in, I made a token protest but I was still exhausted so it was short lived.  I wanted them to get up and play at six, but they are lazy slugs, so they made me go back to sleep until after eight.  I clearly have a lot of work to do in order to get them accustomed to their new lifestyle.

Once they finally got up, Marty played with me and got me all wound up.  Lyle had already given me some food, and so I needed to poop.  I started pooping, and Marty grabbed me, so I pooped in her hand.  What would *you* do if someone stuck their hand under your butt while you were pooping?!  I mean, really!  Talk about inappropriate!

After all the drama from that was over, we played for a little longer, and I worked on teaching the crazies to use a Kong toy.  It's important for them to have some intellectual stimulation.  All that training work wore me out, so Lyle sang me a lullaby and I'm going to take a nap now!

Meeting My Grandhuman and the Vet

Marty's mom (my grandhuman) came up last night to meet me.  Apparently, the crazies are going to some buffet thing tomorrow.  I thought if it were food, they would definitely want me to go, but they said it's a concert.  So much for "focusing on the puppy".  My grandhuman is pretty cool though, good thing they have her because someone seriously needs to talk some sense into them.  She tells them things like they should feed me more!

The place outside where they want me to pee is a lot of fun, and it's right next to the bushes, which I like to hide under.  Marty doesn't like for me to climb under there and hide, so she borrowed a fence from the neighbors and now I can't get to the bushes.  She said it's all fine, well, and good to fish me out while I'm a baby, but she doesn't want to have to drag me out when I'm a big dog.

I had already met the people who come over and take care of Marty and Lyle.  (My grandhuman says they are incapable of independent living, so they had to hire someone to come in and keep them from living in filth and squalor.)  They think I'm so cool that they brought the rest of the family over to meet me too.  I was really good and they wanted to keep me, but Marty said no way.  I am going to be allowed to visit and play, but I live with Marty and Lyle.

Despite my protestations, the crazies hauled me off to see the vet.  Everyone there was VERY excited to meet me, and they acted like Marty and Lyle were long lost friends.  They gave me a bandana and took my picture and looked at my eyes and my ears and other personal areas.  I weighed twelve and a half pounds.  Marty was worried that means I've lost weight since they've had me (see, my grandhuman is right), but the vet said it was probably just different scales and not to worry about it.  They were supposed to bring some poop in to get checked, but I refused to poop after the chicken explosion in the morning.  I didn't get any shots (I TOLD them I was a perfectly healthy puppy!).  Dr. Richards said I was handsome and perfect (I could have told them that too, but I was trying to be modest).  I think she's pretty cool.  Here's the embarrassing thing, I have fleas!  I definitely didn't have them when I left my littermates, so I must have gotten them here.  I guess we live in a bad part of town.  Dr. Richards gave Marty some stuff to put on my back that will kill the fleas and keep them from coming back.  

As soon as we got home, Marty put me inside the fence and I pooped.  It's important to teach your humans that they live on your schedule, otherwise they start to believe they're in charge.  Marty made me take some pill that supposed to keep me from getting worms.  I refused to eat it until they smothered it in chicken.  Haha, I will teach them that they can't make me stick to kibble!  We went on another car ride to get dinner, and this time I just slept without puking.  It was a big day!

The Big Move

Yesterday was the big day!  The crazies came to pick me up and take me to live with them.  I was a little disappointed they didn't bring Aunt Becky this time, but they promised I will see her on Sunday, so I guess it's okay.  I said goodbye to my littermates and the big dogs, but when I was getting ready to leave one of the big dogs jumped over the fence to tell the crazies they'd better take extra special good care of me!  They promised they were going to and I told him it would be okay, so he went back in the fence and we got on the road.  I cried a little at first (leaving home for the first time is always a little scary and upsetting), but then I settled down and took a name in Marty's lap.  (Now that I'm living with them, they've asked me to use their names.)

When we finally got home, I practiced peeing outside for them and they gave me some chicken.  Then we came inside and I sniffed around for a while and took another nap.  Everytime I pee outside, I get a piece of chicken, so that's pretty cool.  When I pee inside I don't get any chicken, not sure what's up with that.  One time when I was outside peeing, I got to meet one of the neighbors.  They have a human puppy and he seemed happy to meet me.  I got more chicken for being nice to the other humans.

That wore me out, so I took another nap.  After I got up, I went to work with Marty for a couple of hours and took another nap.  She has a water bowl and a chewy for me there, but I was too tired to play.  I got chicken for peeing outside there too!

When we got home I took another nap, and then when Lyle came home we played fetch.  They have a little tennis ball my size, and they get all excited when I bring it to them.  I am learning that humans are easily amused.  You know what doesn't amuse them?  When I chew on their clothes.  They don't seem to mind if I chew on their arms (as long as I don't bite down), but every time I even just touch their precious clothes, it's all "that's not a chew toy" and they move me off.  They're so uptight.  I like to climb under the coffee table and hide my ball there.  They laugh because they think I'm not going to be able to do that for very long.

When we went to bed they made me sleep IN A BOX!  I screamed and yelled for about ten minutes but nothing I could do made them let me out, and that wore me out so I finally just went to sleep.  They put this weird blue zombie dog in there with me.  He's okay to snuggle with, but something is seriously off with him.  I think he may be "special needs".  I woke up once in the middle of the night and Marty took me outside and let me pee (I got more chicken), but then she put me back in the box.  I cried but they're mean and made me stay in the box.  I was still pretty tired, so I went back to sleep.

We got up early this morning and Lyle took me out.  After that it was time for breakfast.  I took turns taking kibble from each of them.  I don't want them to think I have a favorite yet.  We played with toys upstairs for about an hour and then Lyle had to go to work.  Just as I was settling in for a nap with Marty, she got a phone call and she put me in my box.  I WAS SO MAD!  I threw a big fit, but she just ignored me.  After a while, just when I had given up and settled down, she took me out and put me back in the car for a trip to work.

I got to meet a lot of humans at work this time (last night there were no humans).  They were all really excited to meet me.  I peed outside again, but this time I didn't get any chicken.  Marty didn't bring something she was supposed to, so we had to go BACK to the house.  This time one of her human friends (his name is Dustin) went with us and I rode on his lap.  We went back to the office and they put me down and I pooped.  I think I've had too much chicken, because they made a lot of noise about how that wasn't normal looking poop.  Then we got back in the car to drive home.  I wasn't feeling very good and I threw up on Marty.  She didn't get mad.  Apparently when she was a puppy, she threw up in cars a lot too.  She did put me back in the horrible box though, so I threw another fit.  It didn't work, again, so I'm taking a nap.

My grandhuman is coming up to meet me tonight, and I have to go to the vet, so I need to rest up.  Stay tuned, I'll be updating soon!

Meeting The Crazies (and Aunt Becky)

Super exciting day!  The crazies came to visit me this afternoon.  As soon as I saw my Aunt Becky I decided this is going to work out fine.  I let her hold me first, so the crazies could practice their patience.    I was really good and I didn't "ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn" anything.

There were some other humans here to adopt my brother.  They were okay too, but I don't think he's going to have as much fun as I will.  Luckily, they really loved my brother's "mask", so they didn't try to steal me or anything.

The crazies were pretty chill, they mostly just wanted to snuggle me.  They did try to get me to chase a tennis ball, but I refused.  I don't want them to think they're in charge of me.  I showed them how to use their hands to help me learn about bite inhibition, and I demonstrated how nicely I can pee outside.  Aunt Becky took a lot of pictures.  (The guy crazy took four.) 

My mom came and hung out with us a little too.  She even let us eat a little (we mostly eat puppy food now).  She won't admit it, but I think she's about ready for us to go to our new homes.

The crazies went out and played with the big dogs for a long time.  The big dogs really seemed to like them, and the crazies seemed like they know what they're doing too, so I'm feeling a lot better about them.

Only a few more days and I'll be going to live with the crazies!

Upcoming Visit

The crazies are coming to visit me on Friday.  Christopher is letting us pick our people, so I'm going to make the crazies think that I'm going to go home with some other humans.  It'll be a fun game.

Actually though, I'm pretty excited to meet them after everything I've heard.  They're not allowed to take me home on Friday; I get to hang out with my litter for another week after that to practice how hard to bite each other and stuff like that.

Too Busy To Write

Hello Everyone.

Sorry I've been quiet for a while, but I told Christopher that maybe if we ignored the crazies for a while, they'd settle down.  It didn't work though, because that just made them call instead of emailing.

Anyway, things here have been super exciting the last couple of weeks.  We're allowed to go outside now, and we have discovered all kinds of interesting things.  Grass!  More big dogs like our mom!  A lawn mower!  Leaves!

It's only a couple of weeks now until I go to live with the crazies.  I have to admit, even with everything I've heard about them, I'm getting a little excited.

Here's a picture of me and my littermates.