Return of The Chessie

I know many of you have been concerned about my long absence from this blog.  As it turns out, I have been:  slightly neglected, tortured by car rides, meeting new relatives, hanging out at the farm, taking advantage of my grandhuman, still going to school all the time, and AT THE BEACH!

Here's how it all went down.



Just before I stopped posting, the crazies and I went to the farm.  We found that my great-grandhuman had tried to cook his leg.  (I don't know why either, there is plenty of human food at the farm.)  He didn't want to go to the vet (I don't blame him!) but eventually Marty and my grandhuman made him.  The vet in his neighborhood sent him to another vet in Aunt Becky's neighborhood, and that vet said he had to LIVE AT THE VET'S.  That sounded pretty horrible, but it really wasn't too bad for me, because I got to hang out at Aunt Becky's, and people came home and played with me, and I even got to meet my great-uncle Richard.  AND I GOT TO SKIP SCHOOL!  One night when Aunt Becky was supposed to feed me, she gave me a WHOLE BOWL of Navidson's kibble instead of my regular food.  A WHOLE BOWL OF TREATS FOR DINNER!  I was pretty much in charge of everything there.  It was great.

My grandhuman and Marty were living at Aunt Becky's too, and one night my other grandhuman came up, but he did not bring Mr. Tripoli.  He took Marty away and then Uncle Rob brought her back, and she smelled like Mr. Tripoli and Awesome Audrey and candles.

After about a week living at Aunt Becky's, I got shoved into my grandhuman's car and she drove me back to the farm.  My great-grandhuman and Marty were already there, AND my other grandhuman and Mr. Tripoli!  My great-grandhuman had a new thing he held onto when he went places, but he didn't go very many places.  I guess all that time living at the vet's wore him out.

We started having extra people around all the time, to check on my great-grandhuman and assign him exercises and all sorts of things like that.  It was almost like when Miss Laura came to the farm for me to have private lessons.  Sometimes the people that came to visit did not give me treats, and SOMETIMES I had to get locked in a bedroom.  Rude.  Usually, Marty wasn't even there, it was just me being in charge of my grandhuman.

After several days when Marty hadn't been at the farm at all, she told me some very sad news.  My OTHER great-grandhuman, who didn't try to cook HER leg (well, at least, no one ever told me that she did) died.  I wasn't too surprised, because the last time we went to visit her she didn't even wake up to give me a treat, but now I only have one great-grandhuman.  She was a big fan of this blog, and she always had a bag of treats for when dogs (mostly me) came to visit, so I am sure that wherever humans go when they die, she's being well received by all the dogs there.  Marty said she used to have a lot of her own dogs and that one of them even got buried with her!

After we got that news, Marty and Lyle went away again and left me in charge at the farm.  They were only supposed to be gone a few days but it was almost a week!  My grandhuman is not very good at fetch, and she didn't even take me swimming ONCE, so I was pretty glad when they got back.  Marty missed me so much that she took a whole day off to hang out at the farm.  AND WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SCHOOL.  My great-grandhuman (not the dead one) had to go back to the vet, and they said his cooked leg is getting much better.

 Mr. Tripoli and my other grandhuman came up to the farm and we FINALLY got to go swimming.  Mr. Tripoli is a much better swimmer than I am.  I'm not sure, but I think he uses ALL FOUR FEET!


The day after Mr. Tripoli got there, Uncle Andrew and Aunt Lauren and Awesome Audrey (but not my cousin Belle) came to visit at the farm, but Marty and Lyle were not there.  This was the first time my great-grandhuman had met Awesome Audrey.

Another exciting thing happened the next day.  We got CHICKENS!  Live chickens that live in a little box.  Marty said I am not allowed to eat them, chase them, or bother them.  I say, What is the point of having them then??  (The picture is not the chickens.  The picture is the other birds that want to eat the chickens.  I say, get in line, other birds.)

Uncle Rob and Aunt Becky came to the farm the next day to celebrate my grandhuman.  It was allegedly Mother's Day (and I didn't even send my mom a card, bad human helpers!).   They played that stupid game with the cards and then my other grandhuman took Mr. Tripoli home.

I went back to the little house for the first time in ages and ages.  I was SUPPOSED to get to see Joyce and Nita, but just when they were coming over, Marty THREW me in the car and we went back to the farm.  Marty dropped me off and left and came back with a little dog that smelled like Tractor Guy.  His name is Sherman and he hates me.  I do not know why he hates me.  I was very nice to him, but he wants to kill me, so Marty made him wear his leash EVEN IN THE HOUSE.  He is little and white and fluffy and VERY OLD, so I have to be nice to him.

When Marty left after school that night, I stayed at the farm, and she took Sherman to the little house!  When she came back the next day, she brought him back.  I am on record as saying I do not want a sibling, but I especially do not want a little, white, fluffy, sibling that WANTS TO KILL ME.  When we went back to the little house, Sherman had to ride under Lyle's feet so I could have the back seat to myself.

I FINALLY got to see Joyce and Nita.  I missed them SO MUCH!  Sherman got to see them too, but he had to stay behind the puppy gate.  Joyce said he was adorable, but I say he is a pain in the neck.

My great-grandhuman came down to the little house all by himself.  His cooked leg is doing much better now, but Marty and my grandhuman don't trust him to stay out of trouble.  He is lucky they're not making him go in a box when they're not home.  Lyle and Marty packed up a bunch of stuff (always a bad sign) and then I got to ride in Lyle's car.  Sherman had to ride with Marty and my great-grandhuman.  I didn't want Lyle to feel left out, so I threw up in his car too.  It was a pretty horrible trip, and I did not have fun, but guess where we wound up?

AT THE BEACH!!!  With my grandhumans, and Uncle Rob, and Uncle Eric.  Sherman threw up when we got there.  I guess he doesn't know that Marty prefers dogs throw up in the car.  I played bumpers for HOURS and HOURS every day.  My human siblings came to visit and my Uncle Morgan and even my human nieces and nephews came down.  It was a very busy week.

Marty made me go home in the middle so we could go to school.  (I know, it's not even a surprise at this point, is it?)  It would have been worse, but I got Joyce and Nita all to myself for the first time in FOREVER.  On our way back to the beach, Marty had to stop and talk about how fast she was driving again.  At least this time she was in a hurry to get TO the beach instead of AWAY, like last time.

When we left the beach, I rode with Marty.  I guess Lyle didn't really want me in his car again.  I don't know why.  We only stopped at the little house for a few hours and then we went to the farm.  Marty and Lyle and my great-grandhuman have been doing chores.  I help by dragging the sticks around and shaking dirt off of things they pull out of the ground.  I got to play with Ziggy more and I even met a new friend named Guinness.  The big news from the farm though, is that LYLE GOT A NEW TRACTOR and he hasn't taken me for a ride yet!

And, Miss Pat says this week is a holiday so NO SCHOOL!

Well, that's the update from here.   There's a lot going on, so expect more updates now that I'm back on track!